Why Celebration is Vital to Your Healing Journey
We see the word, “celebration” and think of large milestones. Birthdays, holidays, graduations, and anniversaries. We send out invitations, eat together and plan events to recognize and rest from routine. But what if celebration was vital to apply in the small moments as well? By definition, to celebrate means to acknowledge a significant or happy day or event.
Many of us grew up in environments that set us up for negative patterns and behaviors that we carry into our adult lives. When we come up against these habits, our inner critic can sound like, ``you should be better by now,” or “that’s not a big deal.” We don’t only minimize our greatness but our inner critic will also minimize our suffering.
I’ve had to work really hard to validate the pain and see the positives. Celebration is not denying the hard, it’s the genuine acknowledgment of what it took to get you through. It’s not the giant leaps alone that move us forward. Instead of minimizing, I would recognize how it takes small efforts to move me forward every day. Focusing only on the big moves I could make would make me feel bad about the progress. It would feel exhausting at times.
Pushing through and running yourself over to accomplish your goals can make it hard to see these small shifts as worthy of celebration. Celebrating those small wins is one way to start shrinking the inner critic. Let me elaborate on what a small win could look like. You’re in a difficult season, taking a shower is really hard to do. You only have so much energy in this season and taking a shower takes a lot of effort. Celebrate that you took a shower. Be proud of yourself instead of beating yourself up over how it shouldn’t be this hard. You’re allowed to celebrate yourself when you’ve not fully arrived at the person you want to be. You won’t dig yourself out of the hole if you’re beating yourself up along the way. You will just slide right back down into the pit.
You’re allowed to celebrate yourself when you’ve not fully arrived at the person you want to be.
One client expressed to me how painful and new it felt to choose herself before entering a relationship. It was a new concept for her to consider if she even wanted to be in a relationship. She was used to being in them without deciding if it’s a good time for her if she has the capacity for another person. As she acknowledged the pain of that decision, I told her, “that’s worth celebrating! By recognizing this, you will be less likely to compromise yourself. It’s one thing to compromise within a relationship, and another thing to compromise yourself for that relationship.” She never would have thought of her capacity needs when in a relationship with a man before. This was a huge win. Her homework was to mark the occasion in a special way. In choosing herself first, by identifying her capacity and needs, she will have a more intentional choice of the person she dates. She will show up more powerfully, willing to compromise within the relationship, but not compromise herself for it.
These baby steps are huge in our healing journey. It’s so crucial for our nervous system that we celebrate and acknowledge how we showed up for ourselves when we are used to choosing others before ourselves. Our brain is wired to look for what’s wrong to keep us safe. Voicing these wins to a friend or even just out loud to yourself is a great tool to build trust with your heart and mind.
A key player here is slowing down. Perfectionism and the inner critic will keep you performing and burning yourself out for the love, safety and connection you deserve and desire. Take the time to slow down, pause, *deep breathe in, deep breathe out.*
You can celebrate anything:
If you’re depressed and you got out of bed, celebrate!
You said “no” when setting that boundary felt scary and unfamiliar? Celebrate!
You got that closet organized? Celebrate!
You made peanut butter and jelly instead of eating out? Celebrate!
Acknowledge those moments!
I still celebrate when I make my bed. I don’t just run off right away, I slow down, look at the job I did, with a smile say, “that looks nice.” Then I go about my day. Why do I celebrate this? Because I don’t always make my bed, and I’m trying to cultivate a habit to do so! Instead of letting my brain focus on how many times that week I didn’t make my bed, I have it focus on how it feels and looks when I do make my bed.
Some ideas for celebration after taking the time to pause and acknowledge:
Take yourself out on a date.
Bake banana bread.
Talk about it! Tell someone safe who will celebrate with you.
Buy confetti.
Go for a walk or get in your favorite nature spot.
Have a dance party, with friends or alone.
Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how well you did and how you’re proud of that person in the mirror.
Don’t have a mirror? Connect to yourself by placing your hand on your heart and speak over yourself words of celebration.
The list is endless.
Let’s make that your homework.
Write a list of ways you can celebrate yourself in the small moments. Maybe you already do this. I’d love to hear of the ways you celebrate yourself in the post below.
I hope you know you’re worthy of celebrating. Have a practice of celebration, tell a friend, throw a party, go relax. However you choose you, you’re worth it!
#celebrate
#celebration
#lifeconsulting
#codependency
#loveyourself
#selfacceptance